An Apology: Why I Don’t Believe

An Apology Why I Don't Believe

Things aren’t as they should be.

That is one reality that almost everyone can agree with. There is pain. There is suffering. There is despair.

I can’t help but look at this world and the people in it and see that this world is a pretty messed up place. Sure, there are good things in this world, but there are also terribly awful things such as murder, rape, genocide, war, and every other injustice that one can possibly fathom. I’m not sure if the good that we see in this world can quite justify the evil. I don’t know if the good quite makes it worth it.

It is said that God is powerful — all powerful. It is said that He knows all that there is to know. It is said that He is loving. Yet, there is so much evil in the world that I cannot help but question if I am wrong about Him.

Besides, how much sense does it really make to believe in God? I mean, I’ve never seen Him. I’ve never audibly heard Him. Scientifically speaking, no one has been able to come close to proving His existence. With all the evil in this world, it would seem that He would at least attempt to make Himself a little noticeable.

I could perhaps understand why this was the case if the only evil that took place was the result of the actions of individuals; however, that is just not the case. Natural disasters destroy people’s homes and peoples lives. Young men, women, and even children often die without rhyme or reason. Countless individuals are born with severe mental and physical handicaps.

Why does God allow such things?

If God really wants relationship with us, why doesn’t He make Himself a little bit more tangible. As often as I pray, why can’t I hear Him speak to me?

Sometimes I pray and I am empowered.

Other times I pray and I feel as if I’m talking to the ceiling and that there is no one there to listen.

An Apology began with “Introduction”“Apologizing” , “What I Believe” , “What I Don’t Believe” , and “Why I Believe” and will conclude next week with, “Conclusion: Why I Still Believe”.


2 responses to “An Apology: Why I Don’t Believe

  • Lil Miss Kris

    Francis Chan has this quote I really like. He says “God has more of right to ask US why there are children dying in Africa than we have a right to ask Him.”

    If you think about that, it’s true. Last year Trav and I spent $4,000 on one vacation; we took more than one. How many wells could that have bought? Nearly two years ago my brother committed suicide but because of that my mom and dad are now actively seeking Christ. My parents had disowned me for two years because of an argument over my brother who had a lot of anxiety issues. Neither of us were willing to budge but now we’ve learned how important family is. I could tell you many many stories of people who BECAUSE of the pain now know Christ.

    We live in a society where it’s “American” to have abundance. We give but we don’t give to the point where everyone has enough. Some of us think “Well, they need to get a job.” or “They need to just stop having kids.” or “I’m entitled to a vacation.” But…really, REALLY if we ALL worked for the good of mankind would there really be kids dying? Would there BE wars? Do you think if we used ALL of the excess towards finding a cure for cancer that we could find one? BUT, there’s always someone who wants to rule. There’s always someone who is satisfied for ONLY a minute. How many times have you gone on vacation and started planning your next vacation BEFORE the vacation you’re currently on is over? How many times have you gotten some new shiny toy only to be super excited about the next one? We all do, that’s why Apple stays in business.

    God shows Himself in EVERYTHING. Think about how fine tuned our bodies are. Think about there being 248 muscles in a caterpillar’s head or that coral die with just 2 degrees of difference. Think about HOW mathematical our whole entire universe is. Science proves that there is a God. It proves every day HOW He did things.

    Praying for you. I’ve been where you have been, and it’s not a fun place to be.

  • Andrew Sinift

    I definitely agree with you. I like how you pointed out how some people choose to believe “because” of the pain — I find myself there often. Where else is there to turn?
    Next week, I’ll be wrapping up this series with a conclusion about why I still believe — despite these doubts.

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